When South Dakota governor Kristi Noem wrote in her upcoming book that she shot and killed her “untrainable” 14-month-old puppy, her odds of being selected by Donald Trump as his vice-presidential running mate pretty much sank to zero. (You can’t really blame Trump. If Noem has a propensity to shoot untrainable dogs, how could he allow her to be anywhere near Eric and Don Jr.?) The vice-presidential field is once again wide open. Who will Donald Trump ultimately select?
Below is the list of the most talked-about candidates, their pros and cons, and how the Las Vegas odds-makers are accessing their chances.
Doug Burgum
Odds: 1:1
Pro: As their current governor, Burgum will help increase the 65.1 percent of voters Trump captured last time in the swing state of North Dakota.
Con: Doesn’t have the household-name recognition of Cornel West’s running mate, Melina Abdullah.
Elon Musk
Odds: 3:1
Pro: Musk’s anti-Semitic postings on X will instantly bond him with Trump’s rumored choice for secretary of state, Kanye West.
Con: Musk’s shadowy and questionable business ties to Russia and China might conflict with the Trump family’s shadowy and questionable business ties to Russia and China.
Lauren Boebert
Odds: 5:1
Pro: As a 37-year-old grandmother whose teenage son was recently arrested on multiple felony charges, she knows firsthand the difficulties faced by Americans with wildly dysfunctional families.
Con: There’s a fifty-fifty chance of a sex scandal erupting anytime she sits at arm’s length from Trump’s lap.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano
Odds: 2:1
Pro: With his lengthy rap sheet as a Mafia hit man, Gravano would bring to the Trump administration a valuable skill set it currently does not have.
Con: None.
George Santos
Odds: 1:1
Pro: A Trump loyalist and world-class fabulist, should something happen to Trump, he’ll be ready on day one to step in and mislead the country.
Con: There’s always the possibility he’s lying about being loyal to Trump.
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Odds: 2:1
Pro: “MTG” fits easily on a bumper sticker.
Con: The G.O.P. House majority would lose one of its more calm, moderate, and bipartisan voices.
Donald Trump Jr.
Odds: 6:1
Pro: If anything happens to Don senior, they wouldn’t have to change the monogrammed towels in the White House bathrooms.
Con: Though he’s 46, he has no real job experience.
Senator Lindsey Graham
Odds: 50:1
Pro: Long history of demonstrating he will say or do anything Trump tells him to.
Con: Tends to get inappropriately excited at Trump rallies whenever the Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.” is played.
Melania Trump
Odds: 20:1
Pro: It may be the only way to get her to leave Mar-a-Lago.
Con: Trump’s constant referring to immigrants as “vermin” who are “poisoning the blood of our country” might prompt some awkward questions from the press on the campaign trail since she and her parents are immigrants.
Elise Stefanik
Odds: 3:1
Pro: She insists on referring to the convicted Capitol rioters as “January 6th hostages.”
Con: If she tries to get any more to the right of Trump, she may fall off the face of the earth.
Stormy Daniels
Odds: 5:1
Pro: Has previously demonstrated a keen ability to work closely under Trump.
Con: Her thin knowledge of international affairs and domestic policies is on par with that of other V.P. candidates Kari Lake, J. D. Vance, and Katie Britt.
John Ficarra is the former editor of Mad magazine