WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF FIVE YEARS FROM NOW?
I’d like to say I see myself approaching my five-year anniversary at your company as a valued employee, a well-liked colleague, maybe even a dear friend.
But, if the Atlantic Ocean current has collapsed, causing equatorial temperatures to soar, I will ideally be somewhere far away, like Norway, or New Zealand.
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER TO BE YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS?
Probably the inability to delegate. I’m a bit of a perfectionist.
Either that, or field dressing small game birds.
Although, to tell the truth, I haven’t had much practice at field dressing small game birds. Can I change my answer to catching small game birds?
HOW PROFICIENT ARE YOU IN MICROSOFT EXCEL?
I’m not sure how useful Excel will be during the impending water wars. Rather, let me tell you how many knots I know how to tie, or how many uses I’ve found for zip ties.
CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT A TIME YOU DISAGREED WITH A COLLEAGUE? WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE?
Is the super of my apartment building a colleague? If so, let’s just say, this one time, a colleague wasn’t too keen on me bringing in a contractor to turn the basement into a bunker.
Obviously, I learned a lot about shoveling. But I also learned plenty about electrical fires, and the impact subterranean water leaks can have on the structural integrity of a multi-story dwelling.
CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT A TIME YOU FAILED?
To paraphrase Thomas Edison, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways of treating wastewater for human consumption that absolutely won’t work.”
HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS ROLE?
I was perusing crossbows at a yard sale upstate when this guy came over and invited me to a private Discord group. There, I met a guy who introduced me to a guy who knew a guy who told me about the job.
Oh, also via LinkedIn.
HOW IMPORTANT IS PERSONAL GROWTH TO YOU?
To me, personal growth is almost as important as crop growth, which, as our food systems begin to collapse, will be very important.
CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS THREE-YEAR GAP IN YOUR EMPLOYMENT?
Have you heard of the band Phish?
DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR US?
When can I start? Seriously, when? We don’t have much time.
Simon Webster is a journalist based in Australia