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“Awww, his first time disabling parental controls.”
“Well, that’s enough TV for tonight if we want to get in our hour of doomscrolling before bed.”
“You can keep your shoes on, but those socks have to go.”
“There goes our security deposit.”
“Try to make friends—but don’t make friends with kids whose parents want to be my friend.”
“This is a real game changer.”
“I thought I’d outlive my enemies, but I keep making new ones.”
“Sorry—no unboxing videos.”
“Reckon we’ll ever be ravaged by the ills of gentrification?”
“I’m telling you, man—it was all staged. A cow never really jumped over the moon.”
“My parents make me run this Fortune 500 company so that it looks good for college.”
“Let the record show, that’s what she said.”
“I don’t know her name, but this broken glass slipper is a clue. That, and the trail of blood.”
“We’ll use a heart-shaped box and unload all the flavors no one likes.”
“Let’s try giving him a peace prize.”
“It’s a 15-minute recipe, so dinner should be ready in two hours.”
“The Games section is how they lure you in!”